Student Essays-- Asian American

What struck me the most emotionally in these passages, especially the first two- other than literally wanting to kick a few of the characters' asses- was the upending of what are traditional ideals of good parenting versus in actuality being a good parent. In the first of the three essays, Anthony Luckett has lived a life of anything but ease, having been transferred from household to household because his mother couldn't afford to keep him herself. Although at first Anthony resents his mother deeply for doing so, he comes to realize that her actions were done because she wanted him to have a better life. "My mother gave up her life so that I might have a better chance at success than she." To most outsiders, it would seem that his mother had sent him to foster homes repeatedly because she hadn't wanted to care for him, yet this is not the case. She is being the best parent she can be by understanding that to keep him with her would be worse for him than paying for him to stay with others. In reality, a very selfless decision, as you come to see that she cares deeply for Anthony.
 
In contrast, the parents Johnny Lee care for him in a traditional sense, as they provide for him, yet treat him in utterly abhorrent ways because they believe that he is doing something sinful, thus embarrassing them and their family. ". . . no matter how much I was aware of my parents' hatred of gays, I never truly believed they would respond so harshly." Johnny's parents emotionally scar and torment him, believing that they are in the right and that Johnny is wrong for being gay.
In this, it is clear to me that oftentimes the relationship of parent and child cannot be judged by what is on the surface. The average person would condemn Anthony's mother for "abandoning" him, while the Lee's family would seem normal, had one not known of their harsh attitudes. This contrast is striking, in its irony power. I simply wish I had a way of getting hold of Johnny's parents at that time, so I could kick their teeth in. This type of hyper-religious, ignorant disapproval is something I've witnessed first hand, and the kind of emotional effect it has on the children subjected to it. Maybe in time this situation will lessen, but only if we as a community convey our approval and acceptance of all people, in government and in attitude.